Today

was

rich in concubine flavours sweetned to the last empirical hardship

I went through it, so can you

I ate through the water seeds and dripped the excess

through my urination process

and then we finessed the Saturn salutationary Hellenic society

greeks

yellow banana puff powts

smile with Japanese mouths

and critical masses of whiteness your highness

it's only an ugly likeness

xo

Dear TV,

It's not softcore porn hunny, it's called ART

Love,

Lindsay Lohan

why does fear

move me and push

is the push that deep, the price that steep?

the floor so smooth and rich like coconuts and hooker butts

sliding the toe across rubs a thumb down my back til I say STOP!

Not ready not ready

But I think I've escaping my self-proclaimed exile from action

Justified laziness now unjustified

..

The hotel IDENTICAL to its previous state...suites as sweet as 1980's track houses; fades light pink mint greens adorn the frames the shelves bells whistles of the summer beach house resort tucked away in ALISO creek, near that Laguna beach.

Last time I'd seen the sunlight streak through the sliding glass doors, I had lined up a faction of stuffed animals in Easter-like revelation, perked in baskets in a row. My babies. My little ones, placed in the sun in order of preference...pink being the guiding factor of my affection

pink noses plastic clicking against other pink plastic noses, stuffed animals kisses, stuffed with me and clicking with YES, and sunshine and private deck out back.

There is no one at the resort now

Babs and I are the only guests, along with the tax auditor. The back deck perfect for our naked boggle playing, wine sipping, chocolate gorged sex chit chat

Babs

That's it! I'm sending a HEART FELT letter to Oprah and it's gonna happen. I'm getting on baby!

Wagging those long piano index fingers definitively

BB

Baby, I love you, but I get SO worried when I start hearing about budding megalomanias. It doesn't matter how successful you get, you have accomplished everything you need for a fulfilling and content life.

Babs

I don't need any of your negativitiy! Tonight when I write the letter I want NO criticism, just tell me that it's the most amazing thing you've ever read and tell me you absolutely adore me HOURly.

BB

You're amazing

Babs

Thank you.

BB

You're divine. You redefine solar radiation;my sun, my dove. I cannot believe you're my mother!

Babs

You're the one I would have chosen!

Noses kiss, kisses kiss

Babs

Oh! Any man kissing you is getting French lips!

BB

I scream French hooker

Babs eyes peering, giant makeup-less smile, cooing affirmation

BB

I was on the stand and to the class the professor was like,' defining features for Brittany are her wide eyes, how small the lower eyelid is in comparison to the upper. And see the quarter angle she opens her eyes at, this is the "bedroom eye". I feigned perfect embarrassment, giggling as he made me rotate to show off our lil humped nose. It's crazy to now understand my profile and not be terrified by my jewy nose and what the professor called a "classic WEAK chin". I asked, is that a technical term, nervously, hah? He's like, well, yes, your forehead far outstrenches your chin, it's very Renaissance. You look like Rembrandt's wife.

Babs

I want a drawing of you! Do you think they need any older models? I'd do it in a second HONEY!

BB

HOnnneyyyyy

She's sleeping and I'm out here listening to shpongle thinking about my genes seeking their creator, seeking the little house where we were born

Why so STOOPID?????

WOULD A REAL CiTY GuRL leave a 14 dollar CASSIO keyboard in her backseat only to entice the desperate, the poor, the musically inclined??

Those shiny white plastic keys shooting their legs in the air, saying, TAKE ME!!!! But, you'll have to BREAK THE WINDOW, smash smash. Glass like fangs gnarling from their frames.

I thought that damn car was my FORTRESS impenetrable. Japanese engineering; foolproof security. Is any kind of security a sweet delusion??

Probably. South of Folsom ESPEC.

My fabric paint/clipping/stencil collecion, gone from the trunk. I'm really hoping my childhood baby journals aren't gone too--that shit IS PRIVATE!!!!

Is this all a delusion? A delusion that I will EVER GROW UP and move somewhere and set up shop and think I'll be able to do something, put it into action, be for real, finish what I start, not leave immediately and go back to the garish garage where I can leave my car OUT FRONT WITH THE WINDOWS DOWN, IPOD ON THE DASH, and thank god clurmont, you'll never take take take from me?

A spider doesn't cry when you trash its web to goo. And I'm not shedding TEARS either!!!! I've got fuckin SPIDER EYES that cry garbonzo goo. Shit's sticky.

FINAL RESPONSES, DUDE

Dear Frank,

Thank you for your response. I will have your materials back to you stat.

You're watching me from the other side of the freeway. A huge oil
tanker comes by. And we collide. Its impact on the guard rail causes
it to flip over and oil punctures metal, salving the pavement with
greasy cactus water. You're jumping up and down trying to fully see
the wreckage, trying to see some blood. All you see is incandescent
gasoline dripping onto the underpass.

Good luck,
Britt



Brittany:
you're amazing and exceptional in many ways.

you are also ordinary in some ways, one of which is your adolescent
need to flirt (all the guys here
remarked on it) and then complain that the guys you flirt with are
harassing you when they respond.
have some character and own your own shit. juvenile. guys are onto it.
you don't fool anyone except
yourself when you won't own your part in it.

if you had a shred of writing talent, or more pointedly if you had
anything to say about the world
outside yourself, you wouldn't be afraid to share it with me. you are
facile but you have no soul, which
is the steady state for anyone who approaches the world
narcissistically, with a sense of entitlement.
it's all so elitist and middle-class. you really blew it.

thanks for promising to return my stuff 'stat', whatever that means.

Sorry, but, I don't want to join your neo-goth band!

hi there frank, I first want to say thank you for showing me your work
and opening up your ideology to me. It was a very unusual audition,
one that endowed me with a lot of excitement for the creation of art.
I appreciate this immensely. However, after leaving the meeting,
I realized that speaking another person's words is not at all
appropriate for me right now. Auditioning as a vocalist for you was my
first real pursuit of its kind, and after truly considering this
orientation, I realized that your songs cannot say precisely what I
need and want to say--but rather perfectly expose your uncompromising
beliefs. These speak very clearly to you, but in fact conflict deeply
with many of my beliefs, especially about capitalism, love, women,
burning man, brian eno, the future, shakespeare, electronic music, and
aesthetics--things that I do not believe will create the ideal
collaboration you're envisioning, based on clashed fundamental
principles.  Meeting you has therefore imbued an indelible attachment
to my own burgeoning work--this birth intrinsically occupying full
prioritization in my mind. This also clashes with your unconditional
requirements, an ultimatum to devote myself to your work--something
obtuse to require of a perfect stranger. And while I am flattered that
you appear to find me personally appealing, I left feeling as though
any potential for professionalism would be tainted by sexual overtures
that I do not reciprocate. It felt unprofessional to me Frank, and I regret
if my suggestive performance style translated as a suggestive
invitation. It was not intended. I wish you luck with your future work
and in refining your art, which has a very important place in San
Francisco and for modern class consciousness. Thank you for taking the
time to interview me, and for your generous offer.

Sincerely,

Brittany Berg

I'm DELUSIONAL

Brittany-

Thanks for your time and for considering my band. I do appreciate the
effort you made to audition. In fact I like you so much that I feel
compelled to give you honest feedback for your childish and rude email
to me, which will embarrass you for the rest of your life, if you have
any soul.

1. You are accusing me of sexual overtures that I will make in the
future? You're delusional.

2. If you tell me (or any man, as opposed to boy) you're not
interested, I will hear you. If you don't, which you didn't, I had a
perfect right to flirt, which I did do, at the end of my incredibly
generous afternoon with you, for about 15 seconds. Deal with it. You
are the kind of whiner that makes it hard for women who are actual
victims to be believed. Grow up. Flirting is a human right. If you
don't like the human condition, become a cactus.

3. "speaking another person's words is not at all appropriate for me
right now" Please send me a copy of the lyrics to your two audition
songs asap. Seriously. I shared my art with you a thousand times over
today. Now reciprocate, as a genuine artist would. I have several
friends who want to read the 'words that are appropriate for you right
now'.

4. Didn't I loan you several CDs of mine? Please return them as i am a
poor artist, and I don't intend to give them away to someone who feels
obliged to attack me personally despite the fact that I GAVE YOU a
huge dose of the greatest art you will ever experience, and a full
afternoon of my precious time, and an offer to join a great band.
CDs back please, pronto. Thanks.

Frankie